woensdag 1 oktober 2008

a polarity showed up; I was freeing a word with the sound: ij. A Dutch vocal. I remembered my mother critizising me (and my sister) for not pronouncing properly. I felt a strong negative judgement, projected on my mam. 
The reason I pronounced it wrongly was because it takes less effort. So i felt an indifference, carelessness, to this vocal and to the words with this vocal. 
This is the polarity: indifference<=>strong negative judgement. 

Indifference is to be not judging. To judge myself seems to be the solution to avoid a negative judgement by others.
In society this is a huge problem. In school if I'm careless, I manifest strong negative judgement. To avoid this from happening I supposedly should be judging myself to fight my carelessness. 
In society I supposedly should apply all laws on me, if I don't I manifest the judgement by the justice system. 
Judging myself all the time to avoid being judged by others takes a great effort. To be careless offers then the possibility to relax.
To be careless is a very dangerous attitude, because of the possibility to be judged by others.
To avoid the feeling of being in danger while relaxing in carelessness, I have to go deep by drinking a lot or something like that. 

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