as Bruce L. pointed out to me, I have a selfjudgement issue, in which is no selfworth. This involves Selfconfidence and selftrust.
He told me where to find the origin of this.
I decided to have a look into my schoolyears. And I vaguely remembered people commenting on me, children, and the more I investigated the more I saw the issue. I'd never found it by myself, I had completely accepted the lack of selfworth. So I wasn't aware of it at all. I had some questions though, a difference I felt from other men. They had something I lacked of.
I started seeing through my day small movements in myself to make myself less, to set myself aside.
I applied Sf on several aspects also to past perceptions and I felt the release which I enjoyed very much. Today, I lived the transcendence in me. Not quite done however.