today we both did a check (without knowing of each other) on the question: am I setting up a relation in secret, while talking about process and applying Sf? And yes indeed I was, more or less. To be specific: I imagined that we would explore physical intimacy to the extend of having sex. So I thought: and then what? Then my purpose would be gone. I let go of that and from a totally different perspective I remain here from where I am directing myself. And I direct myself no matter what. Physical intimacy or whatever.
I refer to my latest relationship, some 5 years ago, as my last relationship. That's cool.